I am Lars Vargas

Category: Journal

Day to day stuff that’s will likely bore you to tears. My life, such as it is.

  • Whirlpool Customer Service: A Basket Case

    Our new home in Las Vegas came with new appliances. The builder made a big deal out of only supplying Whirlpool appliances. Whirlpool is a name I have always associated with quality, and the appliances in our home attest to that. We are happy with them except for one detail.

    The dishwasher’s silverware basket is simply too small. There are only two compartments to hold dirty silverware, and they only hold about one-half what they should. In fact, they are about one-half the size of any other dishwasher silverware baskets I have ever seen.

    I don’t think that Mrs. Vargas and I are use inordinate amounts of silverware. The plate to fork ratio is roughly 1:1, as is the bowl to spoon ratio. In fact, sometimes it’s two plates to one fork. (more…)

  • Drinking Scotch Can Save Your Marriage

    I was recently reminded of a party I attended last year. Some friends had invited Mrs. Vargas and I to their home, along with several of their other friends and neighbors. It was a typical holiday party with plenty of good stuff to eat and drink. The partygoers were all decked out in festive attire and a good mood prevailed throughout.

    Mrs. Vargas and I are not the kind of couple who has to cling to each other at a party. We’re free to mingle and talk independently. One of the other partygoers, whom I had never met before, had taken somewhat of an interest in me. She was a neighbor of the hosts and didn’t seem flirtatious when I first met her.

    As the evening went on, Ms. Neighbor Flirter had chosen a seat at the bar. And every time I went to freshen up my scotch, she was there, ready to chat, flirt, and carry on about the topic du jour. (more…)

  • Persian Rugs and Traffic Jams

    We went to visit Mrs. Vargas’s parents for the holiday weekend. We stayed at their house in Camarillo, CA. It’s a small city located about half-way between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, just north of “The Valley” of Valley Girl fame.

    Mrs. Vargas’s grandmother gave us a Persian rug as a housewarming gift, but it really didn’t go with the décor at Casa Vargas. Grandma suggested that we bring it with us on our trip to California and exchange it for something we like a bit better while we were in town. This story takes place on the day we exchanged the rug. (more…)

  • Analyze this: a test you can’t study for

    A while back Mrs. Vargas and I were trying to conceive a little Vargas. We were not immediately successful in this endeavor. Sometimes this stuff takes time. Even after several months, we were still without a future little Vargas.

    Mrs. Vargas and I weren’t particularly worried, taking the “it will happen when it happens” attitude. Unfortunately, Mrs. Vargas was getting pressure from her mother (and mine) to conceive. And quickly. Now if ever there was a way to cross circuits in the male brain, it’s having mothers and mothers-in-law giving advice on conception. Sorry, ladies: I love you, but this isn’t an area where I want your advice.

    Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law. We get along just fine. This is not a Fred Flintstone/Ralph Cramden type of husband/mother-in-law type of thing. (more…)

  • Wacky from Waxing

    Las Vegas is a great place to live. We moved here for a variety of reasons. One was the weather. No hurricanes, not a lot of rain. In fact, other than the intense summer (dry) heat, Las Vegas has a very hospitable climate.

    While some would say that the lack of rain is one of the good things about Las Vegas (it is in the middle of a desert after all) there are some disadvantages as well. The largest one would be dust. Vegas is a dusty town, and a little wind will move more than enough dust to cover pretty much everything, cars included.

    My car is black. I like black cars. That Darth Vader thing is cool to me. But dust and black cars don’t mix. Actually, they mix quite well, but the look of a black car covered in fine beige silt isn’t nearly as sinister as when that black paint is gleaming like the Dark Side of the Force. (more…)

  • Another Average Day

    Yesterday was one of those average days where you know you got something done, but you simply cannot put your finger on any specifics. I was awake for around seventeen hours, but there is very little concrete I can point to that I did.

    I already posted about having Luella sing for my mom on her birthday. After that, I went to work. I think I spoke with someone about something. I do remember lunch. We went to “La Cabaña“. It was good. After lunch, I did more work and spoke to more people about things. Such excitement.

    The drive home was average. Not too fast, not too slow. A few people didn’t understand the concept of the left lane being the fast one, but that’s typical. In fact, had that not happened, it would not have been an average drive.

    When I got home I remembered something: I had computer work to do. (more…)

  • Moving to Vegas: Day 4, the second half

    We were now in New Mexico, a place Dad and I had never been before. We both grew up and have mainly existed on the East Coast. Sure, we’ve been to other places, but we never drove cross-country through them. We were absolutely not prepared for the beauty that unfolded before us.

    At first it was like driving through an old Warner Brothers Road Runner and Coyote cartoon, except that this scenery was real and there were no Acme instant holes or rocket roller skates to be found along the side of the road. Interstate 40 runs a relatively straight line through New Mexico. There are plenty of hills and ridges, and cresting each one offered up a new and stunning view. It was really incredible to watch the composition of each valley change. Drive 15 miles and the rocks go from craggy and pebbly to flat and striated. Each valley was different, as if God had made thousands of prototypes, each a little different than the others.

    I was actually looking forward to twelve hours of this scenery and my mere words here cannot come close to conveying the unique beauty of this place. If you ever have a chance to drive I-40 anywhere in New Mexico and Arizona, take it. (more…)

  • Moving to Vegas: Day 4, the first half

    Well as nice as Texas had been, it was nice to see another state. Hello New Mexico! I felt like we had now made real progress. So far the journey was going extremely well, especially since we had tow alpha-males in the truck. Not only were Dad and I still speaking, but we were still having meaningful conversations. This is a good sign.

    A few miles over the New Mexico border was the welcome station. We had made it a habit to stop in all the welcome stations along the way for a variety of reasons. The primary one, usually, was a rest room break. The secondary was the free maps. Maps have always fascinated me beyond their utility. I think part of it is dreaming of being in all those exotic and obscure places, wondering what they are like, noting the differences and similarities to the places I already know. At least that’s the romantic version of it.

    The Welcome Center on I-40 just west of the Texas/New Mexico border had something even better than maps and a place to pee for free. They had Internet access. I’m an Internet junkie. I make my living doing Internet things and I also have a lot of fun hanging around on the Internet. For nearly four days, I was completely and totally without Internet access, so being able to get online for free, in the middle of nowhere, was too much to resist. Peeing can wait (it had to anyway, but I’ll get to that). (more…)