Current local Las Vegas time is 8:33pm, January 16, 2018.

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Wallets: I Duct the Issue

I wanted to wait until after the holidays were over to avoid anyone who saw this and had gift ideas.

Never give a man a wallet as a gift. Just don’t do it. Men are picky about their wallets. Most men will use a wallet until it becomes a worn leather flap that surrounds their ID, credit cards, and cash. At that point a man then has to search for the correct wallet. This search might take weeks or even months, depending on how picky a guy is.

I’m pretty picky about my wallets. Mrs. Vargas learned a long time ago not to even mention the subject; that my own wallet replacement schedule and her perception of what it should be would never coincide. In marriage, we all learn.

My current wallet, which I have had for at least two years, is doing fine. There are a few threads fraying here and there, but the leather has that fine patina and wear that only be achieved through a couple of years rubbing around in a pocket for a few hours each day. I suspect the wallet easily has another 2 years of life left before it is replacement time.

One of the things I hate about replacing my old wallet (aside from throwing away an old friend) is that I am never able to find the same wallet again. It’s frustrating to have to re-learn where my insurance card goes, where my credit cards are, and so on. I suspect that one of the reasons men keep wallets so long is that they don’t want to have to re-learn where everything goes in the new one. It’s almost as bad as moving to a new house where all the furniture is in different locations and for the first few months you sometimes get up in the middle of the night and start walking toward the closet to pee when you catch yourself and head for the spare bedroom instead.

Anyway, I don’t like getting a new wallet. I saw a link to a site for the perfect solution. I am going to make my own wallets from now on. Out of duct tape.

There is a page of instructions on how to make your own wallet out of duct tape. I haven’t tried yet, but it looks easy enough. I have seen duct tape wallets, but never thought to make my own. Brilliant!

There are even special instructions for a version that will block the new RFID sensors form reading anything in the wallet. High tech system-defying brilliance!

So if you’re thinking, “Gee I’d really love go give ol’ Lars a gift. What shall it be? A wallet! Great idea!” … sorry, but I’ve got you covered forever now. And my money, credit cards, and ID. They’ll be wrapped in duct tape as soon as my current wallet gives out … around 2008.

Published Tue 1/10/06 at 8:40pm

Categorized in Internet, Journal